


That's What Friends Are For

by Anime_or_scifi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Awkward First Times, Awkward Kissing, Awkward Sex, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, nothing about this is sexy, so bad it's laughable, they're both 16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2018-10-15 06:08:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10551374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anime_or_scifi/pseuds/Anime_or_scifi
Summary: Levi and Eren are left alone for a week and plan to have a laid back time, but after Eren starts asking uncomfortable questions - just to tease his best friend - things get a little more interesting.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this last year and never finished it, so here it is. I hope it doesn't suck.
> 
> I just wanted to write the most unsexy, awkward, secondhand embarrassment inducing smut I possibly could, and this is the result. Enjoy!

"I can't believe your mom trusted you to be all by yourself for a week," Eren commented on his side of the couch, watching Uma Thurman skillfully fight her way through men dressed in black on Levi's television. "Right after you're birthday too."

"What, did you think I was gonna throw a party and supply a shit ton of alcohol?" Levi asked rhetorically.

"No," Eren responded calmly. "You're too boring for that."

Levi reached across the distance to slap the back of Eren's head, causing him to chuckle. 

"I just mean that she never leaves the house to you for more than a day. She's so overprotective," Eren elaborated. "I thought she would've brought you with her instead of just leaving you here."

"It's not like she abandoned me. I have food." 

"Ah yes, Oreos. The base of every nutritious diet."

"Whatever, I'm not gonna starve." Levi slumped back, losing interest in the film they were watching. "You wanna watch Kill Bill two after this?"

"No, it's getting late." Eren rubbed at his eyes. "Maybe tomorrow, after this I just wanna go to bed."

"Agreed."

 

~

 

Eren watched the snow fall out the window as he waited for Levi to return from the bathroom. He'd always liked winter, considering it was too cold to go out constantly, which gave him an excuse to stay inside and relax with Levi, be it at Levi's house or his own. He thrived on quality time with Levi, given that he was his best friend and he'd even dare say he was his favorite person. They'd been friends for most of their lives, so it only made sense that they were rarely seen without the other. 

Levi came shuffling back in his room, unceremoniously dropping himself onto his bed, making Eren's side of the bed shake in the process. He switched spots with him, having a preference for the spot next to the wall. "Will you turn out the lamp?"

Eren did as Levi asked, turning off their last light source, leaving only the moonlight for them to vaguely see their surroundings. "You couldn't have done that yourself while you were coming back?"

"You know I'm lazy," Levi huffed, pulling the blankets over himself.

"God, do I ever," Eren huffed, rolling his eyes as he settled back into bed. "Can't do anything for yourself."

"I will punch you in the dick," Levi halfheartedly threatened.

"Oh no!" Eren feigned fear, giggling as he made himself comfortable. 

A silence hung between them as they waited for sleep. However, minutes had passed and the two had yet to experience yawning or drooping of their eyelids. They stared at the ceiling, neither daring to break the silence. Eventually, one of them had to ask. "Are you tired?" Levi inquired.

"Nope."

"Fuck, me neither."

Eren giggled at the circumstances. "What do you want to do until we get tired?"

Levi considered the question briefly before answering. "We could do something really boring until we nod off."

"But doing something boring is... boring." Eren turned on his side to look at Levi better. "We could... we could build a fort."

"You are literally five years old." Levi angled his head to face Eren with a scowl.

"Is that a no?"

Levi narrowed his eyes at him. "... I'll get the pillows from downstairs."

 

~

 

After Eren finished stripping Levi's bed of its sheets and blankets, he carelessly threw them to the ground and jumped on the bed, waiting for Levi's return. Levi came in, arms carrying an umpteen amount of pillows that blocked most of his vision. He stood by the bed and promptly dropped everything he had on top of Eren. 

Eren kicked everything off, desperate for air and threw one of the couch cushions at Levi's face. "Asshole."

"That's me," Levi said, catching the pillow before it made contact. "Get off the bed and we'll start with the walls."

The two spent a considerable amount of time constructing the fort, making sure everything was stable enough to stand on its own. Eren would test everything out every once in awhile, hopping to different ends of the bed to see if anything would crash down. Through trial and error, they found the weak spots and altered them to be stronger. Levi threw on the blankets, making a curtain for a door and stood back to see the finished product. 

"Does it remind you of when we were kids and used to do this?" Eren asked, observing their work.

Levi shook his head and crossed his arms. "Not at all. It's staying up." He smirked at Eren's huff of laughter. "How old were we the last time we did this?"

"Like... eight, I think? It's been so long." 

"God, that's eight years ago. We're old."

"Fucking geezers," Eren joked. He let out a sigh and slapped Levi's arm. "Well, old man, there's no use in building a fort if you don't get in it. After you."

Levi scooped up the last blanket they had left over along with two pillows that wouldn't have fit and crawled in the fort. Eren was soon to follow, closing the 'door' after him. He let out an exaggerated sigh as he sat beside Levi in the dark enclosure. "So... you tired yet?"

"No, you?"

"Nope." Eren twiddled his thumbs, bringing his knees to his chest. "Can't even see anything now."

"Yeah... I have a flashlight in my nightstand drawer, maybe we could wedge it in the walls." 

"I'll get it," Eren volunteered. He crawled out of the fort and opened the nightstand drawer. He struggled to find the flashlight, having difficulties seeing in the dark, but kept rummaging through the random objects within the drawer. Of course, he found it with there being a limited amount of objects within the drawer, but he didn't find it before he came across two things that had made his heart skip a beat. He pulled back, taking the flashlight with him, reenter in the fort. He was suddenly grateful for the lack of light, hiding his blush.

Taking the flashlight from Eren, Levi attempted sticking it in the crevasse between the 'wall' and the 'ceiling.' He clicked it on, making sure it didn't shine in their faces, and found a happy medium, pointing it towards the opposite 'wall.' "Let there be light," he joked.

"Nice..." Eren couldn't leave the subject of what he found in Levi's nightstand left undiscussed. Besides, it could work as great humiliation material at a later date. "... So what's with the fuck supplies in your nightstand?" He had to make it a joke. If he had asked him seriously, he may have given himself away.

Levi's face initially portrayed confusion, before it contorted into agitation. He rubbed his face in annoyance, causing Eren to laugh and huffed out a sigh, preparing his explanation. "My shitty uncle gave them to me on my birthday."

Eren eyebrows shot up. "Oh... that's not creepy at all. What's your uncle doing giving you condoms and lube on your birthday?"

Levi groaned. "Ugh, he said that it was a coming of age thing. He told me 'I know what it's like to be your age and I know men that age get urges.' Then he basically told me how much of a nightmare it would be for the family if I got a girl pregnant and he was trying to help as much as he could to prevent that. Pfft, little does he know..." 

"Well, you don't have to worry about pregnancies, but it's good for STDs and stuff."

"Yeah, I guess," Levi grumbled, rolling his eyes.

Eren started chuckling uncontrollably. "What? You're not gonna use your uncle's gift?" He teased. "What a waste! Why haven't you thrown them out yet?"

Levi refused to make eye contact with him. It wasn't often that he found himself embarrassed, especially around Eren, but who could blame him? The topic was personal. He shrugged and grunted something along the lines of 'I dunno.'

Eren picked up on his odd behavior and went into interrogation mode. "Want me to throw them out for you?" 

Levi snapped his head over to face Eren and with that simple gesture, he'd been caught.

"Ahh, you have someone you want to test them out on, eh?" Eren wiggled his brows at him, poking his arm.

Levi retracted his arm away from Eren's prodding. "No," he muttered defensively. "It's just... they're perfectly good condoms. Throwing them out would be a waste."

"It's also a waste if you're not using them," Eren countered. "What's the point of keeping them if you'll never use them?" 

"I'll use them," Levi argued.

"Yeah? When?"

Levi was stumped. He had no idea when, and for all he knew, by the time he'd get somebody into bed, the lubricant would be expired. "When... when I find the right person. It could be soon."

"Oh, I see," Eren went on, still vaguely mocking him like they always did. "And what would the right person be like? Who would be your ideal partner? Who's the mystery guy that'll get you laid for the first time?"

"You're an ass, you know that?" Levi spat.

"Hey, I'm serious!" Eren dropped the harassment. "How would you know if you found the 'right one?'"

Levi pondered over whether or not he should actually tell Eren. It was a rather old fashioned way of thinking, or at least he thought it was. "You'll make fun of me."

Eren looked at him incredulously. "Are you serious? Levi, come on. I've known you since we were six. You're my best friend, I've seen you throw up on your living room rug, accidentally spray air freshener in your eye, and call a teacher an asshat to their face. There is no judgement between us."

Levi nodded as he spoke. "You're right. Not to mention I've seen you sneeze in the face of your sister's boyfriend—"

"When did this become about me?" Eren interrupted, not wanting to relive that dreadful moment. Luckily, Levi did start to lighten up, allowing himself to laugh at Eren's misfortune. "Back on track, who would be the right person?"

Levi did stop laughing, but a small grin stayed in its place. "Just... I don't know. I want my first time to be with someone who won't leave me. I want it to be with someone who'll always be in my life and who I'll always love and vice versa. It's so corny, I know, but it's true."

Eren nodded in understanding. "I get that. I hate to break it to you, but usually, you're not meant to stay with your first love forever. That's why they call them your 'first.'" 

"I didn't mean it like that," Levi explained, rubbing the back of his neck. "I mean, whoever it ends up being, I want them to be someone who'll always be important to me and who I'll always be important to. We don't have to stay a couple forever, but to me, your first time is something special. And I don't want to lose the person I spend that huge moment with... I guess it's an unrealistic expectation—"

"No, no, it's not," Eren reassured him. "I think that's really sweet. I hope you find that person." He genuinely did. But he couldn't tell if it was selfish of him to have an idea of exactly who that person should be.

After Eren's calm reaction, he felt more safe to open up. "It certainly doesn't help that I feel that way about my first kiss too."

"You haven't had your first kiss yet?" Eren asked, hoping he didn't sound as surprised as he was.

"No, have you?" Levi countered with an accusatory tone.

"... Yes. Granted, it... kinda sucked, but I still had it." He took one look at Levi's discouraged features and backpedalled. "But it's not a bad thing if you haven't had your first kiss yet! There's nothing wrong with that. Some people don't have their first kiss until they're twenty. Or older."

Levi nodded, but found little comfort in his words. "I guess..." he sighed. He started scratching the back of his head, finally feeling the last bit of awkwardness melt away. "I just wish I could get all those things out of the way. My first kiss, my first time, I just want it over with and be able to know that whoever I share them with will always be with me."

"Yeah... that'd be nice," Eren agreed. He tried thinking of an easy solution to Levi's troubles. Without clearly thinking through what he was saying, he mumbled out a half processed thought. "Like, you're my best friend, so I'd let you fuck me if you asked." As soon as the words left his mouth, he instantly regretted it, catching sight of Levi's perplexed expression. "W-what— what I meant was... I mean, I don't actually—"

"Would you really?" Levi asked, having yet to make it obvious if he was for or opposed to the idea. 

"Well... pfft, I just..." Eren became more and more flustered with every second that passed. He took a moment to collect his thoughts and determine what he wanted to say and ended up being completely honest with himself and Levi. "Yeah... I would."

Levi seemed taken aback, clearly not expecting any of this. Eren wished that he would get rid of his stoic facade and give him some idea of what he was feeling. "Hm..."

Desperate to not make a fool of himself, Eren began babbling manically. "It's just that... I know that I'd never leave you because you're my best friend. And I do love you- but n-not like that! I mean... I don't want to have sex with you- not that I wouldn't want to! I mean- fuck." He hung his head in his hands, begging for Levi to save him from himself. "Like, you're attractive, not that I'm attracted to you... and I'm sure sex with you wouldn't be bad- not that I ever think of having sex with you! But... I would only do it if you wanted to too... and... I just thought it would be helping you. Because... you said you wanted it to be with somebody who'd always be with you... and I'll always be... and I wouldn't mind doing it if you... I mean, that's what friends are for, right...?" He stopped when all Levi would do was look at him in utter shock. "I'll shut up."

Levi took his eyes off of Eren at long last, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared off into space. 

"Please say something," Eren begged.

"... I don't know what to say," Levi replied softly. 

"Are you disgusted?" Eren asked, wincing. "Cuz we can forget everything I said and—"

"No, no," Levi interrupted, looking back at him. "I'm not disgusted, it's nothing like that, it's just..." He trailed off in search of the right words. "I... I didn't know you'd do that for me."

Eren figured he had nothing to lose, so he simply told him, "I'd do anything for you."

Levi let out somewhat of a contented sigh, then suddenly his demeanor changed to one of suspicion and accusation. "Are you fucking with me?"

"No! No, I wouldn't joke about this," Eren assured him. "If you were up for it, I would do it. Honestly."

Levi reverted back to his unreadable state. "Would you... also be willing to help me out with my first kiss?"

Eren face dropped, unimpressed. "I just told you that I'd have sex with you and you're asking if I would kiss you? Get it together, Levi."

"Sorry, sorry, it's just a lot to take in," Levi excused himself.

"So... is this something you'd want to do?" The anticipation was eating away at Eren, he needed answers. "Obviously you don't have to and you don't need to know now—"

"I want to," Levi said with great certainty. 

"O-oh," Eren choked out. 

"But only if you swear that you weren't lying and you'd actually be okay with it."

Eren nodded enthusiastically, trying but failing to not seem too eager. "I promise. I'm completely honest about this."

"So..." Levi mumbled, angling himself to face Eren. "How should we start?"

Eren's eyebrows shot upward. "Wait, you want to do this now?"

Levi backpedalled, afraid he'd made a terrible assumption. "Oh, I'm sorry. We don't have to do this tonight."

"No no no!" Eren put out his hands to correct Levi. "I'd love to do it now! I mean, it's nothing but- you know what I mean. But, yeah. Now is a great time. We could do it now and it would be over and done with and you wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. And I'm not busy now... so, I can help you with this." He was lucky that Levi had agreed to this at all. And Levi wasn't about to wait, Eren had to take up this opportunity before he changed his mind. He wanted this. 

"And this will just to be to get it over with," Levi reiterated searching Eren's eyes for hesitation.

"Right, just to get it over with," Eren confirmed. 'And because I've been dreaming of this.' He added in thought.

"And it'll mean nothing."

"Absolutely nothing." Eren nodded. 'Maybe to you.'

"And when we're done, we'll never speak of it again. It'll be like it never happened, except it did."

"Mhm." Eren inched closer to Levi. 'But I'll never be able to stop thinking about it.'

Levi mimicked Eren's actions, scooting closer. "Doing it... just to do it."

"Yeah." Eren thought he was being a little much at this point, but he knew he was rambling for his own piece of mind. 

They sat side by side, the light from the flashlight streaming from behind Levi's head to the opposite wall. Eren gulped, they'd been closer than this before, but given the situation, he could only feel anticipation building up in his stomach. "We should start with your first kiss. Just to ease you into things. I mean, ease us into things." He had no problems with this, Levi was the one who might've needed coaxing.

"Yeah, good thinking." They maneuvered so that they were cross legged, facing each other fully. "How exactly do you kiss...?"

"Well, I'm not an expert, but to me it seems pretty self explanatory," Eren scoffed. He tried to make up for it when he saw Levi's unimpressed stare. "Sorry, sorry. Just... close your eyes and lean forward."

Levi nodded in acknowledgment. "Okay," he said, taking a deep breath. "Sorry if I suck."

"It's fine," Eren assured him.

"How long should it last?"

Eren shrugged. "A few seconds? I don't know, just pull away whenever you want."

Levi gave another nod. "Where should my hands go?"

Eren was getting impatient, so he closed the distance between them, putting Levi's hands on his waist, then setting his own on Levi's shoulders. "Countdown from three?"

"Yeah, let's do that," Levi agreed.

"Three... two... one." Eren leaned forward only for Levi to remain stationary and widen his eyes. "Why aren't you doing anything?"

"I thought you were gonna say go!" Levi explained.

Eren groaned, dropping his head and feeling his face heat up. Why did this have to be so difficult? "For fuck's sake, Levi. We kiss on one, got it?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry." Levi shook his head, trying to clear his mind.

"It's okay. Countdown from three, kiss on one, and we stop whenever you're ready. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Three... two... one." They both leaned in and connected their lips with Levi coming in a little too fast and keeping perfectly still. Eren knew Levi was inexperienced, but he didn't think he was so clueless. Even though Levi was statue-like in their kiss, Eren still felt butterflies in his stomach. He never thought something like this could ever happen between them, but there he was.

When Levi showed no signs of retreating, Eren began to move his lips rhythmically against Levi's and Levi did his best to mirror his actions, but only displayed his lack of skill further. There was no rhyme or reason to the kiss, it was merely long and awkward. 

Levi finally pulled back and Eren could just barely notice a tinge of red on his cheeks under the beam of the flashlight. "Was that good?" Levi asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, you're a natural," Eren lied. 

"Could we... keep doing this for a bit? Just so I'm a bit more prepared for... you know?"

"Sure, if that's what you need to do," Eren answered. "We'll take it as slow as you need."

"Okay, good." With no warning, Levi came in again, just as hard as before and Eren realized he had to tell him to stop right then or he'd keep the habit.

Eren pulled off. "Okay, yeah. I'm not going to kiss you anymore if you keep doing that."

"Doing what? You said it was good."

"I fuckin' lied. You're coming in like a train. I can practically feel your fucking teeth through your lips."

Levi knitted his brows together. "Alright, I'll go slower." He went at a snail's pace, connecting their lips. 

Eren decided that Levi was doing well enough and thought that perhaps they could take another step and start using tongue. He tentatively licked Levi's lips, asking for entrance, but was greatly disappointed when Levi only mirrored his actions. He pulled back and wiped at his mouth, trying to get rid of the extra saliva. "Open your mouth."

Levi looked at him confusedly and dropped his jaw, causing Eren to roll his eyes. "Not that much!" Levi fixed his error and Eren went back in. "That's better." 

Unfortunately, Levi wasn't much better using tongue, not that Eren could claim he was an expert. But Levi just shoved his tongue in any direction he felt like and Eren would've thought that even he would know enough to not do that. 

Levi backed away, much to Eren's relief and deemed himself ready. "I think we can move on, if you're okay with it. But slowly still."

"Yeah, no problem." Eren was more than happy to be done with kissing. "What should we do next?"

"I don't really know the proper order to do these things. Is there an order?"

"I'm not entirely sure."

"Then... undress? To get used to that."

"Shouldn't be too bad, I've seen you naked before."

Levi widened his eyes at Eren, sitting back. "You've seen me naked before? When?"

Eren sighed in annoyance. "Remember when we were thirteen? And you got out of the shower and I had to take a piss, then you—"

"Oh right. Yeah, I do remember that."

"So, should we start with shirts?"

Levi nodded. "Yeah, that's a good start."

They each tentatively removed their shirt, stuffing them in the corner of the fort, and looked at each other briefly. 

"Should we... do anything like this or just keep going?" Levi asked.

"I'd just keep going and get that out of the way."

Levi nodded and so they did. Once they were both completely undressed, the air between them became thin and uncomfortable. Eren tried not to stare at the other's body, and Levi tried not to look low all together.

"What's next?" Eren inquired.

"Um, I think we should get used to this part. How about we just lay down and continue what we were doing earlier?"

Eren nodded and soon, the two were resting on their sides, their faces less visible as the light didn't reach that far. Eren was the first to reach for the other, setting his hands on Levi's shoulders and inching towards him. Levi got the message and met him halfway.

Neither had improved much in their kissing technique, not that either of them were expecting to. Levi couldn't yet bring himself to place his hands much lower than Eren's waist, so that's where they stayed for the moment.

"Are you ready to move on?" Eren asked, parting from Levi, causing his hands to retract. To be frank, he was growing impatient and a bit tired of Levi's invasive tongue.

"I guess, what's there to do?"

All Eren could think of was finally crossing the line into more intimate territory. "U-um... what are you comfortable with doing right now? Because I think we could go a bit further..."

"You mean, like... touching each other?"

The way they tiptoed around every little thing made Eren feel like they were acting like children. Of course, it didn't help that all this was going on in a fort they'd made. 

"Yeah, I guess you could put it like that."

"Okay," Levi breathed. "Who goes first?"

"I thought we'd both start at the same time?" Eren suggested.

"Where should we begin?"

Eren shrugged. "Anywhere? I think we should start where we're most comfortable then... work our way down."

"Alright, sounds good."

They both reached out for each other, pausing once their hands nearly collided. Gradually, they both were able to set their hands on each other's waists.

"Did I mention your hands are really cold?" Eren mumbled.

"I don't retain a lot of heat, okay?" Levi snapped. He called himself down at Eren's concerned expression. "Sorry, I'm just nervous."

"Do you want to stop—"

"No." Levi didn't want to back out when he'd made it this far. "I just don't think I'm gonna do alright."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you know I've never done this before, so I don't know if I'll be any good."

"Levi, I've never done this either, so I won't be much better. And hey, I won't care if it's bad, don't put pressure on yourself to make it good. You know that there's no judgement between us and besides, you said we're doing this just to get it out of the way. So... it doesn't have to be anything."

Levi nodded, taking in everything Eren was saying and felt a weight fall off his shoulders. "Okay." 

With that, they started to explore each other's bodies at a hesitant pace. Eren moved down Levi's sides and over to his abdomen, inhaling sharply and hoping to god that Levi didn't notice.

Luckily he hadn't, he'd been too focused on roaming his hands around Eren's smooth skin. He couldn't help but let his mind wander to the fact that most other couples didn't take this long and weren't as awkward. But then he had to remind himself that they weren't a couple and that he shouldn't have been so nervous about taking their time.

"Is it okay if I go lower?" Levi asked.

"Yeah." Eren couldn't believe they were finally getting somewhere. He tried not to let Levi see how much he was enjoying it when his hand moved down to his hips and over his thighs. And he was especially thankful that the lighting was so awful so Levi couldn't see his blush once his hand had reached his slowly hardening length.

Eren assumed that Levi would also be comfortable with him progressing, so he slipped his hand down to stroke Levi. Hearing his breath hitch, he wondered if Levi was enjoying it or if he was caught off guard. "I-is this okay?"

"Mhm," Levi hummed. 

It was clumsy and would've been embarrassing if they'd actually been trying to set a 'mood,' but they both took hold of each other and stroked the other at their own paces, growing hard together.

Eren started to wonder if he was allowed to show pleasure. Of course some reactions were involuntary, but he wasn't sure if he'd be crossing a line to call out for Levi or tell him if he liked what he was doing. He didn't know if Levi would let him leave marks. Even though he had feelings for Levi, this was supposed to be meaningless. They weren't a couple and they were only having sex for the sake of doing it. He couldn't tell how far he should go without freaking Levi out. So, he bit his lip to silence himself.

"Should we... should we start?" Levi asked tentatively.

"Yes," Eren rasped. He couldn't have been more ready.

"Let me get what we need." Levi ducked out of the fort for a brief moment to retrieve the condoms and lube. Once back in, he rested on his haunches while Eren remained on his back, and examined his friend. "You're... okay with me being on top, right?"

God, Eren was more than okay with that. "Yeah."

Levi took a minute, trying to decide what he should deal with first. The condoms or the lube. "Uh... do you want a condom?"

Eren quirked an eyebrow at him. "What? Why?"

"So we don't make a mess," Levi said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Eren rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Toss me one."

The two rolled on their own condoms and stared at each other expectantly. After a moment of thought, Levi slapped his face in frustration. "I forgot I should get a towel or something."

Eren was starting to get unbelievably impatient. "Forget a towel! Why the fuck would you even need one?"

"I'm going to be using lube! After I'm done with it, I need to get it off my hand so I don't get it all over the bed."

"Fine," Eren groaned. "Just go get one."

Levi huffed agitatedly, leaving the fort to find a towel. Eren laid there, shaking his head. Why did this turn out to be so difficult?

Levi returned shortly after, setting the towel in the corner of the fort, resuming his earlier position. He took the bottle of lube, pouring it into his hand and slicking up his erection. Eren watched, keeping a stoic expression to hide how turned on he was. But that went away as soon as Levi started to wipe off his hand and position himself between his legs.

"Wait, wait, wait! What the hell are you doing?" Eren shrieked, pulling his legs shut and scooting away from Levi.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Levi gawked at him, thinking he'd lost his mind.

"You're just gonna fuck me like that?"

Levi gawked at him. "Should I not?"

"No! You shouldn't! You can't just go shoving your dick up my ass! I need to be stretched or its gonna fucking hurt!"

Levi's face became void of all expression before it hit him and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm a fucking idiot." Grumbling to himself, he grabbed the lubricants again. "Open up."

Eren grimaced, but complied. "Please never say it like that again."

Levi paid him no mind and reached down at Eren's entrance. "You ready?"

"Mhm." Eren relaxed on his back and waited. He flinched when he felt the cold lubricant come into contact with his ass and tried to remain still as Levi's first finger entered him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it just... feels weird."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No, I think it's supposed to feel like that." Eren grabbed onto the sheets to steady himself during this odd experience.

Levi wasn't doing too much better. He basically forced him self to get it over with, otherwise he'd freak himself out too much if he overthought the act of sticking his fingers in his best friend's ass. He didn't very much enjoy the texture of Eren's insides, finding it foreign aid ridiculously warm. 

Eren had never experimented on his own, so the intrusion couldn't have felt more bizarre to him. Since he had nothing to compare the feeling to, he guessed that this was what it was meant to feel like. 

Soon, they agreed to add another finger. And another once Eren decided he was comfortable with that. But in truth, he couldn't have been further from comfortable. Levi's fingers didn't have much room to move since everything was so tight, and the way he moved them was anything but natural. It was borderline painful, but Eren was beginning to get used to it. 

"I think I'll be good to move on," Eren said.

Levi nodded and checked to make sure that they were both ready and nothing had been forgotten. He lined himself up, putting one hand beside Eren's head to hold himself up, then wiped off his other hand.

He looked down at the other for the sign of okay, which Eren nodded to signal his preparedness. Levi slowly eased in, laboring his breathing and checking in with his friend to make sure he was okay.

Eren held his breath, not liking the sting of being breached. He shut his eyes, waiting for Levi to be fully sheathed, but what was only a few moments, felt like hours of discomfort.

"Does it hurt?" Levi breathed, loving the sensation of being inside Eren a little more than he expected.

"A little," Eren squeaked. "But I'm alright."

Levi started panting heavily, forcing himself to keep his hips in place. "I'm not moving until you want me to."

Eren wanted to grab onto Levi shoulder while he waited out the pain, but he wasn't sure if that would be off putting to Levi. The guy had his cock in his ass and he was still scared to touch him back, he felt so pathetic.

As soon as the pain subsided, Eren opened his eyes and gulped at the sight of Levi so close and sweating. "Y-you can move now."

Levi nodded and pulled out slightly, gently thrusting back in. It wasn't the most incredible feeling in the world, but neither of them were complaining. Levi repeated his actions and fell into a sloppy rhythm, changing his speed with every thrust.

Honestly, Eren was getting a tad irked that Levi was probably getting more out of this than he was, since he'd been wanting this more than Levi. He briefly thought about asking him to touch him, but decided against it. They were doing this strictly to have their first time, and because of that, Eren thought that also meant he didn't have to get as much out of it as he could. If Levi saw him enjoying himself, would he figure out about the crush he'd been harboring for what felt like forever? He couldn't risk it.

"How is it?" Levi asked.

"Good," Eren lied. It wasn't necessarily bad, it just... wasn't good either. He felt so disappointed that he couldn't kiss Levi, regardless of how bad he was at it, he couldn't touch him or hold him, he couldn't ask for more intimate gestures. He couldn't ask Levi to kiss his neck, leave marks, stroke him through his orgasm; nothing. He couldn't make it personal, he just had to wait until both of them had come. He was too afraid of Levi getting the wrong idea, which would have technically been the right idea.

Then Levi hit something, causing Eren to release an unattractive noise and arch his back off the bed. Upon realizing what had just happened, Eren covered his mouth with his hand in embarrassment and his face darkened several shades to a vibrant red.

Levi stilled completely. "Are you alright?"

Eren nodded, unable to find words.

"What was that?"

Eren was ready to die, how could he be so clueless? "It was... you know!" He whispered.

"No, I don't know. Are you hurt?"

"No! It was... you hit my... you know what I mean!"

Levi narrowed his eyes at him impatiently. "I don't understand—"

"It doesn't matter! It felt good, okay?"

"Well, sorry for caring about your wellbeing!"

"Well, it's obvious what happened!"

"No, it wasn't," Levi argued. "I thought I hurt you because of that noise you made."

Eren hid his face behind his hands. "Holy fuck, Levi. Just never mind it! Keep going..."

Levi huffed out an agitated breath, but started thrusting again. Though, he tried aiming for Eren's prostate this time around, occasionally finding it, but not being consistent with his angle.

Eren gave up on relying solely on Levi for his pleasure, so as discreetly as he could, he moved his own hand down to stroke himself. At last, he was getting some relief from the friction and getting somewhere. 

Levi had absolutely no idea what he was doing, so he simply did whatever felt good and avoided making eye contact, ashamed that he couldn't think of anything more to do than roll his hips. 

Eventually he started accurately hitting Eren's prostate each time, causing Eren to make noises from the back of his throat and unsuccessfully try to suppress them. 

Levi paused, just to be sure. "You okay?"

"Yeah, don't stop there!" Eren said, with a little more frustration in his voice than he'd anticipated. 

Levi could feel his climax approaching, so he sped up to help it along. But in doing so, he stopped hitting Eren's sweet spot, much to his annoyance, so he relied on his own hand to finish himself off. 

Soon, they were both reaching their limits. Levi was the one to come first, halting immediately after finishing, which somewhat annoyed Eren. But he followed soon after, feeling relief rather than the bliss he was expecting beforehand.

Levi pulled out, removing his condom and tying the end off, so Eren supposed he should sit up and do the same. Maybe Eren was overthinking things when he avoided kissing and holding Levi during sex but he knew he definitely couldn't ask to cuddle with him afterwards. He simply couldn't bring himself to do that.

 

~

 

After everything was cleaned up and they were both dressed again, the atmosphere was still too hot and the tension in the air could be cut with a knife. 

"What did you think?" Levi asked nervously. "I know it wasn't mind-blowing, but..."

"I liked it." True, it was troublesome rather than naturally flowing, more awkward than sexy, and definitely foreign as opposed to welcomed, but Eren was glad they decided to do it. It wasn't anything like what he imagined it'd be and quite frankly it was disappointing. But now he had a clearer mental image of Levi without clothes, and even better, the image of him losing himself in such an amazing way. And, even if he couldn't get together with Levi, he could say that he was his first.

"... I did too," Levi agreed. 

Eren wanted to roll his eyes and say, 'Of course you did, you weren't bottoming.' But he let him believe they both had an equally good time. 

"Now, I, uh... that's something I don't have to worry about anymore. Now I can say my first time was with someone I'll always care about. Someone who'll never leave me. So... thank you."

Eren smiled at Levi, remembering what their initial intentions were. "Anything for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't edited, I'm sorry for any mistakes!
> 
> If you liked this, pretty please leave a comment or kudos! My tumblrs are dr-s--art and the-witch-daddy. Thanks for reading! <3
> 
> (Tbh their night probably ended something like this: "You know... I've always wondered what a blowjob felt like"
> 
> "Funny you mention that, I've always wondered what it's like to suck dick")


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is democracy at its finest. There were so many people leaving comments and private messaging me, asking me to make a followup chapter, so I just gave in.
> 
> Enjoy!

He should've left it alone, he should've just forgot about it like he said he would. But Levi couldn't get it out of his head and he had no idea if it was because its just a natural response or if it was something more. He hoped it was the former.

Ever since that night, Levi looked at Eren a little differently. After being friends for most of their lives, it was rare for him to gain a new perspective on something that hadn't changed about Eren's appearance and tendencies. His laugh was the laugh that he'd had since he was young, but Levi started to find it more infectious than usual. He had the same teal eyes that he noticed when they first met, but Levi started to look deeper. And worst of all, Levi started to find that Eren's meaningless touches made him feel a little hotter.

It had to be a hormonal reaction, he told himself. He knew that it was common to develop an emotional attachment after your first time, but he didn't expect for it to go to this extent. He pushed all those feelings away, he wouldn't let himself catch a crush on his best friend. That would be too weird, and rejection would hurt twice as much. But he refused to believe that's what was happening. Not at all, there was no way Levi was ever going to fall for Eren. He hoped. 

On this day, Eren invited Levi to go for a walk with him. Several months had passed since their first time and so they were on the brink of summer and as they always did, they took a walk in the woods nearby Eren's home. 

Levi would glance at his best friend every few minutes, attempting to not wonder if he was experiencing the same kind of change in feelings towards the other. The sound of cars going by was enough to pull him out of his thoughts. It was hard to get too far away from the road where they lived, so even if they were deep in the forest, it wasn't like they'd get lost.

Eren looked over at Levi. "Do you wanna go find that one big tree—"

"Me too," Levi said instinctively, hoping Eren was going to start talking about something else. When his friend stared confusedly back, he shook himself of that topic. "I mean... yeah, let's go."

"You good?" Eren raised a brow at the other.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Everything's fine. Let's go find that tree." Levi started to lead the way, mentally smacking himself in the face.

They wandered for awhile, vaguely knowing where they were going. They'd only found this rather large tree a year ago. Right in front was a short drop off that was perfect for taking a break and sitting down to watch the river. 

Levi tried not to consider asking Eren if he felt the same, that was a dangerous thought. What if he didn't return his feelings? What if he told him he was imagining his crush? He thought that would hurt more than being taken seriously. And he certainly didn't want to risk making things permanently awkward between them.

Levi fell a couple steps behind, trying to focus on anything but Eren. That didn't work for long, as his gaze impulsively lowered to Eren's rear. 

Levi mentally smacked himself. He shouldn't have been having these thoughts. 

"I think we went this way last time," Eren announced, taking a turn.

"Right," Levi mumbled. 

The two ventured through the woods, noting favorite stopping points and places that fond memories belonged to. It wasn't too awfully long before they reached the place they'd been searching for. They took a break from walking, settling on the edge of the short drop off and decided to have lunch while they rested.

"I brought chips," Eren announced, handing Levi the bag.

"Very nutritious." Levi rolled his eyes.

"If you don't want them, I'll take them back." Eren made a move to reach for the bag, but Levi pulled it away. He grinned smugly at him.

Levi's heart started racing at that smile and he hated himself for it. Every time Eren would sass him, he wouldn't fight back like usual. Instead, he let Eren win, not able to think of a witty remark due to the fogginess of his head. 

Levi watched his friend pull out his own bag of chips, and soon the only noise between them was the crinkling of the plastic and the trickling of the water from the shallow river. Levi hated that he wasn't brave enough to handle his conflicting feelings. He should've been able to just talk things out with his friend. They'd known each other for practically their whole lives, he knew deep down that even if his feelings were unrequited, that wouldn't ruin their friendship. Why was he being such a coward?

Just then, Levi felt a sharp and sudden pain in his shoulder. "Ow, what the—"

"Rock fight," Eren deadpanned, collecting pebbles in his right hand, feeding himself chips with the other.

"Are you twelve?" Levi rubbed his stinging arm.

"Hey, we've done this since before we were twelve."

"Yeah, and we stopped when we were ten because you stood up too fast when I threw one at your back and it hit you in the head, so you had to run to your mom to get a bandaid."

"Nuh uh, we were nine you dick."

"Same thing," Levi chuckled.

"Well, we're older now. And you have more restraint."

Oh, how Levi had restraint by the bucket loads. He frowned when Eren threw another stone at his knee, but his sour look faded when he heard him laugh over it. "You're literally a child."

"I'm not denying that," Eren giggled, flicking a pebble.

"Will you stop?" Levi yelled trying to sound angry, but his hint of a chuckle betrayed him.

"No, fuck you," Eren laughed, throwing another. "Come on, killjoy."

"Oh my god," Levi gritted, raising his arm to sheild himself. "Knock it off, you little shit."

"Eat a dick." Eren was unrelenting with his stone throwing.

Levi gave in and caught a stone mid air, flicking it at Eren's side. 

"Ow!" He laughed.

"Yeah, that's why you don't throw rocks at people, dumbass."

"That's actually the whole point." 

More pebbles were tossed, and suddenly Levi was the hypocrite, because now they were both twelve years old again. They became increasingly more competitive as they went on and only stopped when Eren hit Levi's bag of chips, knocking it out of his hands.

"Why are you like this?" Levi asked rhetorically, picking up the spilt chips. 

"You think it's funny," Eren teased.

Levi couldn't exactly deny it. He couldn't be bothered by anything the other boy did nowadays. Hell, he'd let him get away with murder.

"Hey, Levi? Are you okay?"

Levi was caught off guard by the question. "Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Dunno. You've just been acting different for awhile. Not bad, just different."

"What do you mean?" Levi feared he'd given himself away.

"Like... you don't really argue with me anymore. Well, not like we argued, but you know we used to bicker but we didn't mean it? We don't do that anymore, you just let me say what I want."

Levi gulped. "Is that bad?"

"No, I was just wondering if there was a reason. And you've been complimenting me lately. You never do that. And the weirdest of all, you haven't been saying my ideas are stupid as much. Don't get me wrong, I always knew you were joking, but you stopped."

Levi started liking Eren's odd suggestions, because it was Eren who thought of them. And Levi was more interested in how he looked, so he thought he should know. He wasn't as good at hiding things as he thought. "... Is... Is it a crime to be nicer to you? Get off my case."

Eren narrowed his eyes at his friend. "I'm not 'on your case.' You've just been acting different and I was curious why. If it's nothing, then it's nothing." He didn't understand why Levi was being so defensive all of the sudden.

"... It's nothing," Levi mumbled, crossing his arms over his knees.

"Did I upset you?"

"No."

"Then why are you acting all pissy?"

"Shut the fuck up."

Eren widened his eyes. Sure, Levi always had a snarky remark for everything, but he never had any real bite to his tone, unlike now. 

Levi exhaled heavily, looking into the river. "I'm sorry."

Eren couldn't wrap his head around the sudden mood change. He wondered if he'd said something wrong.

"I just got a lot on my mind."

Eren leaned back, using his arms for support. "Talk to me about it."

"I don't wanna."

Eren lightly smacked the back of Levi's head. "Fine, if you don't wanna get it off your chest then don't take it out on me. Come on, let's go be twelve years old and climb a tree or something stupid like that."

Levi begrudgingly stood with his friend. "Yeah, let's do that."

 

~

 

This fucking hurt. The two were taking a break on their way up the tree and they stayed there, looking at the scenery and chatting. Eren was rambling on about something unimportant that him and his mother were arguing about a day or two before. It was something so mundane and casual and all Levi could do was stare at his friend's changing expressions and ache over his overwhelming feelings. 

Levi rested his head on the trunk of the tree, just listening, studying his best friend's features.

"And then she was like 'yeah, well how do expect to take care of yourself when you're living on your own and you need to do the dishes? I won't do it for you.' Like I know that! I'll get a fucking dish washer!"

Levi screamed at himself internally, wondering why the hell he was so entranced by the raising and lowering of Eren's voice. That made no sense. Were other people attracted to people for their voice?

"I mean obviously she won't be there to do it for me, does she think I'm stupid? But as long as I live with her, I'm not gonna do it if I don't have to."

Normally, Levi would've told Eren to suck it up and help out his mother. But for now, he just settled for "mhm."

"Thanks for taking my side. She harps on me for no reason half the time. It's ridiculous, I gotta work hard on my schoolwork, she doesn't have to work. She expects me to- why are you looking at me like that?"

"Hm?" Levi hummed tiredly. 

"That's a... um, that's an interesting face you're making."

Levi straightened his face out from the rather pained look he had on. "Sorry... I was just thinking."

"Dude, just tell me what's going on. Something's obviously bothering you."

"I'm fine." Levi turned away, angered over slipping up.

"Now, who's acting like they're twelve?" Eren chuckled. "Levi, if you just tell me what's up, maybe I can help you out."

Levi considered it for a moment then decided against it, too nervous over how Eren would react. "It's not something you can really help with."

"Then vent, that's what I'm here for." Eren set a hand on Levi's knee for reassurance, completely missing how the gesture tore Levi apart. "You always listen to my bullshit, I'm here for yours."

Levi huffed out a humorless laugh, gently pushing Eren's hand away. "It's... not something I think you'd want to hear."

Eren started to worry when Levi removed him, he's never had a problem with touching him before. "Who gives a shit if I 'want' to hear it or not? I care about what's bugging you."

Levi couldn't avoid it forever, but that wasn't going to stop him from trying. He couldn't just say 'I'm suddenly very attracted to you and I don't know what to do with that information.' He had to work around the subject, but that wasn't going to be easy. "You don't understand, I really... really don't think you want to hear it. I don't think you'd react well."

"Is it gross?" Eren teased. "I can handle disgusting subjects."

 

'You might think it's disgusting that your best friend is falling for you,' Levi thought to himself. "I wouldn't say that."

"Just tell me what it is." 

Levi decided not to be straight forward. Instead, he'd tiptoe around it, figuring out how Eren felt before he made the decision to tell him or not. "I'll tell you about it. Just not right now."

That was enough to satisfy the other.

 

~

 

Back at Eren's home, they watched television late into the night while everyone else in the house was sleeping. Eren was about to fall asleep, and Levi thought it was a good idea to try and get the truth out of him at that point.

Levi flicked his gaze between him and his friend and accidentally blurted out the first internal question he thought of. "Do you remember that one time we had sex?" Levi bit his tongue, his heart pounding in his chest when he realized what he'd said.

Eren tiredly looked at Levi in mild shock. "... Yeah?"

Levi nodded, trying to act calm. "Oh okay."

"I thought you didn't want to bring it up."

Levi shrugged. "It's whatever."

Eren stared at him, completely lost. "Were you going somewhere with that or...?"

"No, no, I was just... wondering like, do you ever think about it?" Levi ran his hand through his hair, restraining himself from tearing it out.

Eren seemed vaguely nervous, but he answered regardless. "I mean, it crosses my mind occasionally because it happened." Levi didn't have to know it was more than occasional. "Why, do you?"

"Meh, sometimes. Not often." Everyday. Levi turned away, pretending to watch the television. Eren did the same. "It's just that..."

Eren looked back impatiently, waiting for Levi to get to the point.

"Um... what did you think of it?"

Eren scoffed. "What did I think? Levi, it was our first time, and we both knew we weren't experienced. It wasn't awful, but we both agreed we—"

"No, no, I mean... what did you think about doing it. Not how it was, but the fact that we did it."

Eren bit his lip, scared that Levi was having regrets. "Well... you know why I did it. I didn't mind doing it for you. It's not like I wish we hadn't if that's what you mean."

Levi wasn't any closer to being able to tell if he had a chance. "Okay, but... do you feel any different afterwards?"

"Yeah, I was thinking 'holy shit, my ass fucking hurts—"

"No! No, I mean like did you feel different about other things?"

"Different how?"

Levi shouldn't have brought it up, he thought to himself. "Different like... you feel differently towards me...?"

Eren's tense features relaxed as he looked more directly at Levi. "Ohh, I get it now," he breathed, nodding slowly. "Levi, don't worry about that. We're still best friends, I don't like you any less." He patted his friend's shoulder, missing how frustrated he was becoming. "I told you I didn't have a problem with it and I meant it. Things aren't awkward between us. Do you think they are?"

Levi's jaw clenched. His friend had a thicker head than he thought. "No. I don't."

"See? Then everything's fine."

But everything wasn't fine. Levi was just as close to figuring out how Eren felt as he was before he brought up the subject. He started to think that perhaps if Eren wasn't getting it, then that meant he didn't feel the same. "Yeah, but... I don't mean did having sex make you feel awkward, I mean something else. Like a... good kind of different."

"I was glad to help you with something you were really worried about—"

"No! I mean... ugh!" Levi hung his head. 

Eren raised a brow at him. "What the fuck are you getting at? You gotta be specific. I have no idea what you're talking about."

Levi took a big gulp of air, preparing himself. "What I'm getting at is... did you see me differently afterwards? After we had sex, did you get a crush or have weird thoughts the next time you saw me? Wait no, weird is a bad word- fuck. I meant..."

Eren looked down at his lap, finally understanding. "I know what you meant."

Levi's heart stopped.

"And... in all honesty I didn't feel any different than before."

Levi knew he wouldn't be able to handle this kind of reaction. "Oh... I'm sorry for—"

"Because I've had feelings for you since before our first time."

And just like that, Levi's heart started up again. "You did?"

"Yes. And we don't have to address it if you don't want, I'll be fine if you don't want to talk about it, but you deserve to hear the truth."

Levi watched Eren twiddle his thumbs and he identified with the same kind of shame he was emanating. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"How long have you felt that way?"

"... A few years now."

"And you didn't tell me?"

Eren looked back at Levi, embarrassed. "I didn't want to gross you out or ruin our friendship. And I didn't want you to feel pressured to reply a certain way, it was just easier to not say anything."

Levi shifted uncomfortably. "Um... well, it wouldn't ruin anything. And I wish you did tell me, even if it was just to let me know without expecting anything out of it."

Eren looked away again. "Yeah, well I'm a coward."

"But you told me just now. I don't blame you for putting it off." Levi took a shaky breath. "Because, I've been doing the same thing."

"What...?"

"I've been putting off telling you that I feel like that too," Levi said bravely. "I was scared it was one sided or that I only felt that way because it was a hormonal reaction to what we did, but it hasn't gone away. And I'm not sure where to go from here."

Eren gawked at his friend, unsure of what else to do. "Wait, just to clarify, you mean that you are... that you—"

"Are really into you?"

"Yeah, that."

"Yes."

Eren's face turned several shades of red. "O-Oh."

The two sat in a silence, both not certain how to handle the new information. Both felt as if it should've been easier from this point on, but communicating how they wanted to pursue things was difficult, to put it simply. 

"So," Eren broke the silence. "Now what?"

"Do you... want to get together?" Levi suggested.

"I do, but... what if it doesn't work out? I don't want us to drift apart or hate each other."

Levi hadn't considered that, but thought it was a valid point. "Well, how about this? Let's agree that whether or not it works out, we remain friends. Because if that wasn't the case, then it defeats the purpose of us having sex at all."

Eren snorted a laugh. "I don't ever want to not be friends with you. I'll agree to those terms, but on one condition."

Levi couldn't believe everything was going this well. His heart was racing and he couldn't help the splitting grin that bloomed onto his features. "What condition is that?"

"Learn how to kiss better, for god's sake," Eren laughed.

Levi ignored the jab at his ego. "I'll need somebody to help me practice."

"I can help you with that." Eren winked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that was worth the wait and was what you guys wanted!
> 
> If you liked this, please leave a comment or kudos! I'm sorry for errors, I don't edit. My tumblrs are dr-s--art and the-witch-daddy. Thanks for reading! <3


End file.
